What's Gone is Forever Lost
by NatsuhiboshiStar
Summary: The story of when Ed and Al tried to bring back their mother.


**A/N**: Ok, this is just the story of when Ed and Al tried to bring their mother back. I wanted to write it out, is all. There are no twists, and I only changed a little. Heh, even Mustang is kinda in here. Kudos to whoever can point him out! .

I don't own anything related to Fullmetal Alchemist except for my cosplays.

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The sun was beginning to set beneath the rolling hills that made up the town of Risembool. All villagers were making their way into their warm homes, as it was obvious that a storm was quickly on its way. 

"I guess I'll be going now…" a young blonde said quietly, his voice nearly drowned out by the sound of the screaming wind. "I'll see you soon."

The storm was approaching fast. Trees were trying their best to keep in the ground, and freshly-cut grass from earlier that morning was circling through the air. The wind was fierce, a bit too fierce for the eleven-year old. The boy would normally be too frightened to step outside during such a storm, but the events that lay ahead of him scared him much more than a little wind and lightening.

The boy passed by a carriage heading in the opposite direction before he finally made it home. He opened the large front door and quickly closed it behind him, shutting out the storm.

"Brother!" another young boy yelled suddenly, a lit candle in his right hand. "Where were you? I was about to go looking!"

The blonde didn't bother removing his soaked shoes, and instead made his way to the basement. "I was at the graveyard. Now come on, let's do this."

His younger brother hesitated slightly before following his older sibling silently to the basement. "Ed, look, I've been thinking…" he started to say as they ran quickly down the stairs of the basement.

Ed stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned his attention to his younger brother. They made eye contact for a short while, and Ed smiled soothingly. "Trust me." He said. And Al did.

Soon the two boys were in the cold basement of their house. The wind was silent, so far underground, to which they were thankful. They couldn't be distracted with what they were about to do.

They were about to resurrect their dead mother using alchemy.

As Ed checked off a long list of ingredients, Al read aloud, "Water 35 liters, carbon 20kg, ammonia 4 liters, lime 1.5kg, phosphorous 800g, sodium 250g, potassium 100g, sulfur 80g, fluoride 7.5g, iron 5g, silicon 3g…"

The lights above them flickered for a few seconds, making both boys gasp. Nervously, they gathered all of their materials and placed them in a pile on the cement floor.

"Okay, we've got all the basic ingredients for one adult body, we've drawn the runes, and now all we need is a part of our souls." Ed finalized. Pulling a short knife from his back pocket, Al quickly sliced the tip of his finger as Ed did the same. Their blood fell slowly onto the pile of materials.

Ed could feel his heart beginning to race. It was finally time. "Are you ready, Al?" Ed asked once more as they fell to their knees and placed their hands onto the transmutation circle surrounding the ingredients they would be using to revive their mother.

Al didn't say anything. Instead, he smiled and nodded.

"Then let's do it."

At the same time, the boys used alchemy to activate the circle. Blue light circled around the room, making an awful whirling noise. Energy was growing, breaking glasses and candle-holders, flooding the room with darkness. Ed's heart was about to burst from his chest. He squinted through the darkness, watching for his mother.

And then it happened. The light went from a deep blue to purple, and the whirling noise turned into a ringing screech. Through it all, he could hear Al screaming.

"I don't know what's happening either! Just keep it going!" Ed shouted, but Al wouldn't stop screaming. Ed turned his attention to him, and what he saw made his beating heart melt.

Al was being ripped apart, his skin dissolving into nothingness. His limbs were beginning to dissolve right in front of his eyes. "ED!" he screamed, a horrible panic in his voice, "BROTHER! HELP ME, PLEASE!"

Unable to comprehend what he was seeing, Ed reached his hand out to his brother to pull him away from whatever was hurting him, when he felt a white-hot pain over his left leg. He looked down and was startled to see his own skin being dissolved into the air. He was in shock. All the deafening noises around him seemed to vanish. He felt as if he was floating, locked in time, unable to move….

"_It's a rebound_." He whispered, unable to talk

"EDWARD! PLEASE!"

Brought back to earth, Ed turned his attention to his little brother. Again, he reached his arm out, but his left leg wasn't letting him move. He couldn't reach him. He could only stretch his hand and watch as his crying brother disappeared into the air.

He closed his eyes to yell, but when he opened them again, he was in an entirely different place. All he could see was white... a blinding white, that seemed to calm him more than anything. The noise from his basement disappeared, and all he could hear was the ringing of his own ears.

Confused, Ed stood up, though there was no floor. There were no walls, either. Just white.

"Where am I…?"

He turned around, and was shocked at what he saw

A giant door…a gate… floating within nothing, big and black, with runes carved all over it. He looked at the doors of the gate and had an odd moment of clarity. It was as if that gate would explain everything to him. Looking at it, he realized that he would know everything and nothing about alchemy… about the world.

"**Hello**." A voice echoed behind him.

A short yell escaped from him, and the startled young boy turned around.

Something that had not been there before, some sort of faceless demon was crouching in front of him, a large smile stretched across its face. It was wearing nothing, but had no features, and a black shadow surrounded it.

"Who… are you?" Ed asked quietly, shocked again.

"**Oh, I'm so glad you asked!**" The thing said. "**I'm ****what you**** would call 'The World', or 'The Universe', or 'God', ****or 'Truth', or**** 'All', or 'One', and… I'm you.**" It said, pointing a long white finger at a trembling Ed.

"What?" He whispered. As he did so, he could hear the doors to the gate behind him open.

"**Welcome, you arrogant fool!**" The thing laughed. Before Ed could respond, something was grabbing him; tiny black hands that were much stronger than they looked were pulling him into the gate.

"NO! PLEASE! AAH!!" Ed screamed, fear blinding him as he was being forced through the doors.

"**Hush, now. This is what you've been longing for, isn't it?**" The thing said, still crouched within its shadow. Ed screamed and fought, but it was useless. He was inside the gate now, and a second before the doors closed, the thing said in a low grunt, "**I'll show you the truth.**"

Once inside the gate, he opened his mouth to scream, but the tiny black arms surrounded his mouth, preventing even a grunt.

_He was falling._

_Slowly, he was falling_.

He could see Winry, and Al, and his mother, and everyone who had ever cared for him. He could see them flash before his eyes. But that's not all he could see. In fact, he could see… everything.

He was gaining knowledge, weather we wanted it or not, it was being forced into his head.

"Please…" he thought, unable to open his mouth. "Please stop… my head's going to burst!" And the black things wrapped themselves tighter around him. "Please, no… I'm being taken apart! Please stop! Please stop! Please stop! Plea—"

Something caught his eye. It was a white silhouette of a woman…her hair falling gently behind her. Ed could hear music, a faint lullaby.

"Mom?" He thought. At this, the woman stretched out her arms towards him. Ed pulled the black wrappings from his mouth with all his strength, and reached his arm towards her. "MOM!!" he screamed, but when he blinked, he was outside the gate again, plunged in white.

His right arm was still extended, but he was on his feet again, looking at the crouching white thing in front of him.

"**So how was it?**" the demon asked, a large grin on its face.

"It... it felt like all the secrets of the world were being poured into my brain." Ed said quietly, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. "My head hurts… but somehow I was able to comprehend everything… _so this is the truth_!" Ed began to walk closer to the gate. "I see… my forum for human transmutation wasn't flawed, it just wasn't complete!" Ed placed his hands on the doors, "I just need a little more time! The thing I'm looking for is just a little further ahead – the secret to human transmutation!" Excited, Ed turned to the demon, "_I'm begging you!_ Let me see it one more time! Just once more!"

"**No, no**." It said, "**That's all I can show you for the toll you paid**."

"Toll?" Ed gasped.

"**That's right….**" It said, standing up, its smile widening, its left leg was swirling. "**The toll. You remember the law of equivalent exchange, right, alchemist**?" It growled, suddenly an inch from Ed's face.

Shock ran through Ed's body as his left leg disappeared from beneath him.

"AAH!!!" Ed screamed in agony, clutching what was left of his leg. He was in the basement again, sitting in a pool of his blood. He looked around for any sign of his brother. "Alphonse… Alphonse! Damn, how could this have happened!? It... It wasn't supposed to be like this!" He screamed, his breath coming in short gasps, the pain in his left leg becoming unbearable. He tried to stand, but it was impossible. "Oh, no… Al…_he's gone!_" Tears began to flood down his face, "Someone... anyone... help me!"

Ed flopped onto his stomach and stared at the thing moving in front of him. At first he thought it was his brother, but, looking closer, he could see that it was in the transmutation circle he and Al had created.

"Mom…" He whispered, and got a closer look. Whatever it was wasn't his mother. It was alive, gasping, bleeding, lying on its back, staring at Edward.

"This... can't be…" He said to himself, staring at the writhing creature he had created. Cold sweat poured down his face. He couldn't take his eyes off the thing... the thing that was supposed to be his mother. "No… this isn't…" And before he could think, he threw up all over himself.

There was a silence, when only his shallow breathing and the creature's movement was audible. Ed was terrified. He didn't know what to do. Should he just wait and bleed to death? The very thought scared him, but as his strength was beginning to leave, he thought of Al. His brother, along with his true mother, would be waiting for him. All he had to do was wait…It would all be over in time….

"_NO!_" He yelled, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around the stump of his left leg. "It's all… all my fault. He doesn't deserve this!" Ed yelled, and hopped towards one of his family's old sets of armor. The closest one. He knocked it over and took off its helmet. His hands soaked in blood; he drew a small circle inside the armor. "Damn it…" He breathed, trying not to pass out, "give him back. That's my brother! I don't care what the toll is! Take my other leg! Or my arm! Take both of them! You can even have my heart. Just… give him back! He's the only family I've got!" He yelled, clapping his blood-soaked hands together.

"**Back again, are we? You really are a fool…**"

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**A/N**: Aaaaand, I'm done! R&R please!! 


End file.
